Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that I have a lot to be grateful for. Since my last post I had begun to get excited about my bridal shower and anticipated sharing all of the photos and details with you guys. My sister - my maid of honor - threw me a beautiful celebration with my family and friends on Saturday. This weekend's road trip down to NYC was meant to get me to begin to imagine the wonderful life that I would begin with Ryan. I'm sure that eventually I will but currently my happiness has turned to a feeling that is unexplainable. I found out Sunday that I lost one of the few FAVORITE people I've ever known and it's been hard for me to reflect on the present and future. As much as I am grateful for the memories I made this weekend, I think that this is more important to speak about for me, because my friend Michael was the kind of person that cherished the friendships he made ... and I will never forget how he taught me to do the same.
Since I heard the news I've continuously reminisced on the past and TRULY thank Michael for all he has given me. I wonder if he knew how he took me in when neither of us realized how much I needed it .. introducing me to the people he loved, creating relationships that would turn into friendships and that would last nearly a decade. There's usually a loss for words that comes along with the loss of someone you love and care about. But I honestly feel overcome with words. I feel blessed to have known someone that gave me such amazing memories. There were times we laughed. There were times we cried. There were times I sat silent while he played guitar. There were times he sat silent while I ranted of a future where I lived out my dreams and he ALWAYS believed in me. Now I look back on our photos and texts about what was happening in our lives and what shows we would meet up at and how he would always made fun of me for getting so excited to hear Phish cover "Loving Cup" and how he would still play it at my wedding in any way I wanted to hear it. I chose acoustic and I promise you that it will happen. I will sway with your soul to the music and apologize for letting you down as a friend. I will love you always Michael. Thank you for contributing to the person I am today. I owe you so much more than you will ever know. I'm sorry I never told you and I hope you hear me now.
xoxo. Alexandra (Mount Everssss)
